What to Say When Someone Says You Have Issues

What to Say When Someone Says You Have Issues

It can be disheartening and hurtful when someone tells you that you have issues. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or even a stranger, such comments can leave you feeling judged and misunderstood. However, it’s important to remember that everyone has their own struggles and challenges. Here are some tips on what to say when someone says you have issues.

1. Stay calm and composed:
Reacting impulsively or defensively can escalate the situation further. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that their words are a reflection of their own perspective, not your actual worth or abilities. Responding with composure will help you maintain control of the conversation.

2. Ask for clarification:
If someone tells you that you have issues, it’s worth seeking clarification to understand their perspective better. Politely ask them to explain what they mean “issues” and why they believe you have them. This shows that you are open to hearing their point of view and willing to engage in a constructive conversation.

3. Express your feelings:
Share how their comment made you feel. Use “I” statements to express your emotions, such as “I felt hurt when you said that.” This helps the other person understand the impact of their words on you. By expressing your feelings, you are opening the door for a more empathetic and meaningful conversation.

4. Use humor to deflect:
Sometimes, humor can be an effective way to handle uncomfortable situations. Responding with a light-hearted comment can deflate the tension and redirect the conversation to a more positive note. However, be cautious not to use humor to dismiss or invalidate the other person’s concerns.

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5. Educate and inform:
If you feel comfortable doing so, you can educate the person about the challenges you may be facing. Explain how certain situations or circumstances may affect you differently, shedding light on your experiences. This approach can help create empathy and understanding, leading to a more productive dialogue.

6. Set boundaries:
If the person continues to make derogatory remarks or refuses to understand your perspective, it may be necessary to establish boundaries. Politely but firmly let them know that their comments are not helpful and that you would appreciate it if they refrain from making such statements in the future. It is essential to prioritize your mental well-being and surround yourself with supportive individuals.

7. Seek support:
Dealing with negative comments about your perceived issues can be challenging, so it’s important to seek support from trusted friends, family, or professionals. Surround yourself with people who uplift and understand you. They can provide guidance, encouragement, and help you maintain a positive mindset.


1. What if the person saying I have issues is someone close to me?
Dealing with such comments from someone close can be particularly hurtful. It’s important to communicate your feelings openly and honestly. Let them know that their words are affecting you, and you expect their support and understanding.

2. How can I differentiate between constructive criticism and someone just being mean?
Constructive criticism is usually focused on your behavior or actions rather than attacking your character. It is intended to help you grow and improve. However, if someone’s comments are solely intended to belittle or demean you, they are likely being mean rather than offering constructive advice.

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3. Should I defend myself if I know the person’s claims are untrue?
It’s up to you to decide whether it’s worth defending yourself against untrue claims. Sometimes, it’s best to let go of the need to prove yourself, especially if the person isn’t open to hearing your perspective. Focus on surrounding yourself with supportive individuals who understand your true worth.

4. Can’t I just ignore their comments?
Ignoring comments may work in some situations, but it’s important to address hurtful remarks, especially if they come from people you interact with regularly. Ignoring them may allow the negativity to persist and affect your self-esteem.

5. Is it possible that I do have issues?
Everyone has struggles and challenges, and it’s normal to have areas for personal growth. However, it’s crucial to remember that being labeled as having “issues” does not define your entire being. Seek support and work on personal growth at your own pace.

6. How can I build resilience against such comments?
Building resilience takes time and practice. Surround yourself with positive influences, practice self-care, and develop a strong support system. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments to boost your self-confidence.

7. What if the person refuses to listen to my perspective?
Unfortunately, not everyone will be open to understanding your perspective. In such cases, it may be best to distance yourself from toxic individuals who consistently undermine your self-worth. Prioritize your mental well-being above all else.

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